Problem Page
STDs can be spread through having sex. This means any unprotected vaginal, oral or anal sexual intercourse. They can also be passed from a woman to her baby during childbirth.
STDs can be prevented by not having sexual intercourse or by using a new condom during every act of sexual intercourse.
People with STDs don't always have symptoms, but, their reproductive systems can still be damaged and they can still pass the STD to another person. So it’s important to get regular checks.
If my partner and I use condoms most of the time, do we need to worry about STID?
Yes. You or your partner must wear a new condom with every single act of intercourse to help avoid catching some STDs. Only using a condom sometimes, or even most of the time, won’t protect you against STDs.
There are also some STDs that are spread through skin-to-skin contact so even wearing a condom will not always protect you from those. This is because the condom only prevents skin-to-skin transmission in a very limited area of the body.
If I contract an STD, does my partner need to be treated, too?
If you have an STD, depending on the infection, your partner needs to be tested and may also need to be treated. If your partner is not treated, he or she may have the STD and pass it back to you.
In order to break the cycle, all partners may need to be treated.
If my partner doesn't sleep around, why should I worry about STDs?
Even if you're in a long-term relationship, you should still be worried about STDs. Maybe your relationship isn't as exclusive as you think. Or you or your partner may have an STD that you don’t know about.
Not all STDs have obvious symptoms, so your partner may not be showing any signs of having an STD.
Hepatitis B, which can be tested for at an STD clinic, can be very difficult to diagnose. Herpes also may be difficult to diagnose, unless a person has an outbreak at the time of their clinic visit. Also, it can take up to three months for HIV to show up on a test.
What is HPV?
HPV stands for human papilloma virus. It is a virus that causes genital warts.
It’s important to protect yourself from HPV because some strains of the virus can also increase your risk of cervical cancer, if your cervix becomes infected.
To learn more, check out our page on the human papilloma virus.
Is oral sex safe?
You can't get pregnant, but you can still get an infection from oral sex.
Oral sex is considered safer than unprotected anal or vaginal sex because some infections are harder to get through oral sex and others can't be passed that way at all.
It’s recommended you wait three months after the date you think you might have been infected to get a reliable test.
At what point in a relationship should you start having sex?
You should have sex only when you feel ready for it.
Starting to have sex is a big decision and it's easy to let the media, your friends or even your partner make you feel that you should be having sex when actually you should only do it when you feel totally comfortable about it.
For some people this may mean being in a relationship for a long time before they feel that the time is right for sex.
Sex is more than just physical satisfaction; it has an emotional effect too. Enjoying sex safely relies on you trusting each other and wanting to satisfy each other. If one of you isn’t sure, it could make the experience a bad one.
Talk to your partner about it, as they may not feel ready either. By telling them how you feel, you can make the decision together when you both feel ready.
You don’t have to have sex to have a good time together. Kissing and touching can be a lot of fun and are all part of sex.
Once you’ve started having sex, you don’t have to have sex in every relationship. It’s still your choice, no matter how many times you’ve had sex before.
My boyfriend says he will leave me if I don't have sex with him. What do I do?
Being in love means respecting each other and not doing things that make the person you are in love with feel uncomfortable.
Do you really want to be with someone who pushes you into things? You shouldn't let anyone pressurise you into doing something you don't want to do and if he loves you he’ll understand that.
So if your boyfriend’s trying to push you into having sex does this show you that he has your best interests at heart?
Talk to him about how you feel and let him know that you do love him, but don’t need to have sex to prove it. It’s better to have no boyfriend than someone who doesn’t care about what is important to you.
Should I be worried if I'm 15 and still a virgin?
There is definitely no need to worry about being a virgin at 15; most people still are.
There can be a lot of pressure when you’re a teenager to have a girlfriend or boyfriend. It can be really hard if all of your friends are going out with someone and you aren’t. But it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. The same goes for having sex.
Despite what your friends might say, the average age for first time sex is 17 - which means that whilst some people do have sex before that age, there are some that wait until they are even older.
Would my boyfriend get into trouble if we had sex? I'm 14 and he's 18?
At 14 you are under the age of consent. This means that in the eyes of the law you are technically too young to make an informed decision about whether you want to have sex or not.
The age when you are legally able to make a decision about having sex is 16.
This also applies to same sex couples. As your boyfriend is 18 he is an adult and would therefore be breaking the law if he started to have sex with you.
But the law is in place to make sure young people are not exploited or abused, so if both partners have consented and there isn’t a big age difference or evidence of abuse, prosecutions are rare. It’s best to seek confidential advice from health care professionals (at sexual health clinics) to advise you how to have sex safely - like using contraception to prevent pregnancy and condoms to prevent infection.
If you’re being sensible about your sexual health, are in a relationship with someone close to your age and who cares about you and there’s no concern about your well-being, health care professionals will support you to have sex safely and healthily.
My girlfriend's past sex life makes me feel bad.
More often than not people have more than one sexual partner before settling down with someone. You can’t change what’s happened in the past, but what’s important is that she’s chosen to be with you now. In fact, you could say that choosing you after one or more previous partners makes you that much more special. Put your energy into enjoying what you have now, rather than dwelling on the past.
People who’ve had negative experiences in the past can find sex difficult, even if they’re in a loving relationship. If you’re worried because your girlfriend has had a bad experience of sex before, you can support her by listening and by making sure you only have sex when you are both ready.
With people who’ve had previous sexual partners, there may be concern about sexually transmitted infections, so it’s usually a good idea for both partners to get checked out before entering into a very intimate relationship.
Call us to make an appointment for a check-up.
I'm confused because my boyfriend made me have sex with him.
Even if you’re both in love it’s not acceptable to force someone to do something they don't want to do.
If you really love someone, you respect their wishes and accept when they say ‘no’ to something.
By disrespecting you, your boyfriend has shown that he doesn’t care about your feelings. It’s important to ask yourself if this is a relationship you want to be involved in?
Forcing someone to have sex when they don’t want to can be classed as rape or sexual abuse.
If you feel that this has happened to you and you want to talk further about it with someone, you can come to any of our clinics and talk to one of our health advisers, or use one of the help lines on our links page.
Yes. Even partners who don't have sex often need to use contraception. Pregnancy happens when a sperm meets an egg and the fertilized egg successfully implants in the uterus (womb).
A woman who only has sex once can get pregnant, so it’s important to use contraception every time you have sex. Because of the risk of STDs, it’s also vital to use a condom every time you have anal, oral and vaginal sex.
Contraception advice and emergency contraception is available at any Whittall Street clinic and all our satellite services. Seven day a week contraceptive services are available at Boots where the Family Planning team and GU clinic work alongside each other and can advise you an all aspects of your sexual health.
There are family planning clinics at health centres throughout Birmingham where contraception is available.
There are several different types of contraception methods available:
-
The pill
-
Mini pill - a single hormone pill
-
Combined OPral Contraceptive - combination of hormones
-
-
Long Acting Reversible Contraception (LARCs)
-
Injection
-
Implant
-
Intrauterine devices - commonly called ‘coils’
-
-
Barrier methods
-
Condoms - male and female
-
Diaphragms
-
How effective is the contraceptive pill?
The contraceptive pill is 99% effective in preventing pregnancy when taken properly, which means it is taken every day around the same time of day.
What are some common side effects of the contraceptive pill?
Some common side effects of contraceptive pills include headaches, breast tenderness, nausea and slight changes in mood. These side effects usually go away after two or three months of use.
If I'm using the contraceptive pill, do I need to use condoms too?
Because the contraceptive pill doesn’t offer any protection against STDs, a male or female condom should be used to help protect against STDs if you or your partner do not know their sexual health.
What are my chances of getting pregnant if my partner and I use the withdrawal method?
Of every 100 women whose partners use the withdrawal method, 19 will become pregnant during the first year of typical use.
Additionally, the withdrawal method doesn’t offer any protection against STDs.
Condoms, male or female, are the only contraceptive method (other than continuous abstinence) that effectively protects against Sexually Transmitted Infections, so it’s important to use them either alone or with another method every time you have sex.
Using condoms during sex may feel a bit different than when they’re not used, but there are ways condoms can be made to feel more 'invisible'.
Putting a water-based lubricant on the outside of the male latex condom will increase lubrication. Putting a small amount of lubricant in the tip of the condom before the male puts it on can increase sensitivity for the condom wearer. It’s important not to use too much lubrication or the condom may slide off the penis.
A man and a woman can also choose to use the female condom instead of the male condom.
The female condom is inserted in the woman's vagina with the loose-fitting pouch held in place by a ring that fits inside the vagina and another ring on the outside of the body to hold the condom in place.
Can you use the male and female condoms at the same time?
No. Male and female condoms should NOT be used at the same time.
They’re made of different materials (male condoms are made of latex; female condoms are made of polyurethane), so when used together, they’re likely to tear from friction.
What lubricant should we use with condoms or other barrier methods of contraception?
Only water based lubricants should be used. If the wrong lubricant is used with the male condom, the material can decompose and cause holes in the condom.
What is emergency contraception?
Emergency contraception is the use of contraceptive methods to prevent pregnancy within a few days of unprotected sex.
Emergency contraception can be used if a woman thinks her contraceptive method has failed or if she hasn’t used any form of contraception. Emergency contraception reduces the risk of pregnancy from 75% to 89%, depending on the method.
Emergency Hormonal Contraceptive (EHC) method
The EHC method or ‘morning after pill’ may protect you from a pregnancy by stopping an egg being fertilised or by stopping a fertilised egg from implanting itself.How it works will depend on where you are in your menstrual cycle.
This method is effective if it’s used within 72 hours after unprotected sex and is a very safe method.
The EHC method is available FREE at Whittall Street clinic, family planning clinics, from your GP, at NHS Walk-In centres, pharmacies (there may be a charge) and Brook.The Intrauterine Device (IUD) method
This method involves putting an IUD (‘coil’) into the uterus - your doctor/family planning staff will do this.The IUD creates an unfriendly environment for the egg and sperm. The IUD must be inserted within five days of unprotected sex.
The IUD method is available from family planning clinics and your GP.
You can’t necessarily tell if someone is straight, gay or bisexual just by looking at them.
Straight, gay, lesbian and bisexual people come from all kinds of family backgrounds, religious and ethnic groups and every social and economic level.
Can a person choose their sexual orientation?
No. A person doesn’t 'decide' their sexual orientation.
Your sexual orientation is to do with far more than just who you have sex with. It's who you are. Most experts believe that your sexual orientation is set before you're born.
If gay or bisexual people were to have sex with members of the opposite sex, wouldn't they be 'cured?'
No. Your sexual orientation isn’t based on how you were raised or who your friends are. It can’t be changed by therapy, willpower or having sex with someone.
A person of any sexual orientation can choose whether or not to act on his or her feelings. But, a person who doesn't have sex (abstains) does not stop being straight, gay, lesbian or bisexual.
If someone who is gay or lesbian has intercourse with someone of the opposite sex, they would no more become straight than a straight person would become gay after having sex with a person of the same sex.
